Do you feel mommy burnout? That feeling of intense exhaustion. Nothing matters anymore. The kids are alive, and you are just getting through the day. Life isn’t enjoyable and you are just going through the motions day in and day out. Emotional health is a big thing when it comes to not just getting through the day but enjoying the day. When you are a parent, taking a vacation is just not very realistic, and if you can, it won’t solve the problem. You will be right back where you were when your vacation ends.
Spa day? Sure that’s nice, but what happens when the spa day ends? Life is back to normal. If you are experiencing burn out, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, you need to find something more permanent than a vacation to get you out of this state. And yes, there is an end! If you are struggling with depression and burnout, you are going to be focused on just surviving. We were not meant to just survive. We were meant to thrive. And it’s time we saw you live your day full of joy, excitement, and truly thrive!
Listen to the full episode here:
Stop Mommy Burnout
Sometimes depression is clinical and you need medication. In this episode, I’m not talking about the clinical depression, if that is what you are struggling with, you may need to see a doctor. But even if you are struggling with clinical depression, this can help! What we are going to be discussing is depression and burnout that comes from living a life that is not enjoyable. A life that is not Christ centered and focused on everyone else except you, and not looking to God to help deal with anxiety, depression, and loss of joy.
I went through depression in many different seasons and many different triggers. Anxiety ran rampant in my life for a long time.
I had postpartum depression after my first born. I had no idea what it was and wasn’t honest with the doctors. Now years later and a couple more children, I look back and can see what was going on in that season. Lot’s of hormonal problems, being a single mom and that stigma I put on myself didn’t help when it came to the depression, then being 27 and moving back in with my mom with an infant so I could finish school. All these things contributed to massive season of depression and anxiety and a very rapid burnout.
Depression and Mommy Burnout is Real
I dealt with depression, anxiety, and mama burnout for several years while we lived in California. It started with me moving there as a single mom and just trying to survive, then getting married and just trying to survive. Again. I put on a smile and happy face for those around me, all the while I was aching inside.
I was in pain.
I was experiencing major burnout.
I didn’t need medication.
I needed a fresh perspective and prayer.
God transformed it all.
While you are in the midst of it, someone telling you that you can do something to get out of the depression, out of the anxiety, move past the burnout, it seems impossible. I’m speaking from experience. It’s not easy. You aren’t going to just snap out of it. It’s something that is deep inside you and you can’t just make a decision to be happy. It doesn’t work that way. You’re right. But we can be intentional and put effort into getting out of the depression, anxiety, feeling of chaos churching inside of us and just wanting to run.
Studies have shown that you can retrain your brain and thought patterns. Your neurons are re-wiring constantly. If you are always thinking in a negative way, you have trained your brain to automatically go to the negative thoughts. When that negative thought comes in, if you make an effort to turn it into a positive thought. Then, over time, your brain will begin to rewire it’s neurons and it will be almost automatic for your brain to go to the positive side of things. It’s not easy at first, but as you make a conscious effort, you will start to see the shift.
How Do You Overcome Mommy Burnout?
Christ is the course of ALL our joy! He is our comfort in times of need. God can help us find time in our day where there is none. He can snap us out of our funk. Always go to God first. Take a moment to pray, read a few verses, put on worship music while you are doing other things. All of that and just setting your mind on Him will help you shift your mindset. Often times, we need to be intentional when it comes to our mindset.
When we focus on our circumstances, it is easy to see only the negative, the horrible, what we wish would change and how our feelings are in the moment. Feelings. Now that’s something that can really get us if we just focus on what we are feeling. But if we take a moment to focus on something positive, something good, our mindset can shift and all of a sudden, the stress will start to melt away. The depression begins to clear and you gain a new perspective on the situation.
When you spend some time in prayer, ask the Holy Spirit to change your perspective. When you ask Him to intervene in an area of your life, you offer it up to Him, you will be amazed at what He can do. I mean, He created you so it’s not the difficult for Him to shift your perspective if you ask.
Take a Step Back
When we are too close to our problems, we can’t see it for what it is. It all seems dark and like looming storm clouds all around us and that is all we can see. If we ask the Holy Spirit to change our perspective, ask Him to help us see it the way He sees it, we can gain His point of view.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that fay outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”2 Corinthians 4:16-18
We ask God to fix this, or change that, but it’s not always the circumstances that need to change. Sometimes it’s our perspective. What can you learn? How can you grow in the current situation? What is God speaking to you?
What Can You Practically Do to Get Out of Burnout?
Delegate, delegate, delegate! Think through who you can delegate things to. Your husband? Older kids in your home? Or maybe there are somethings you can outsource. What can you ask for help with? Here is a list of things most any husband or child or friend can help you with:
- Giving the kids a bath
- Grocery shopping
- Cooking dinner
- Transportation for the kids to school or events
This is a short list, and if you were to sit down and think through it, I bet you could come up with a lot of things that you could outsource or ask some family members and friends for help. Even getting help with these few things will make a drastic difference in your work load as mama. My older kids and my husband all do their own laundry. I just take care of mine, the sheets, towels and all the random home laundry along with the little kiddos and their massive amounts of dirty clothes. But from a young age, everyone learned to do their own laundry which is a huge help in my home.
Pause. You may have 20 things that are happening at the moment, but it is ok to take a moment and breathe. It will all still be there. It won’t go away and five minutes won’t make it worse. Taking a breath will help you keep your composure, keep a good attitude, and maybe save you from yelling at your kids in frustration.
It can help when you are taking this moment to pause, to get outside and get some fresh air, move your body a bit. Don’t let the weather be an excuse. No matter the weather outside, getting some fresh air can make all the difference in your overwhelming state at the moment. If the weather is nice, take a short walk, or maybe it’s gross outside and you just do some jumping jacks on the front porch. Whatever it is you need to do, move your body a bit and get that fresh air for just a short moment, then come back to what you were doing.
It could be hormonal and your hormones are off balance. If you can’t seem to bring yourself out of it, getting your hormone balance checked could be of benefit. Abundant Wellness with Andrea would be a great place to start if you think it could be hormones. Sometimes all you need to get is get your body back to where it needs to be and you will feel brand new!
Going through depression, burnout, anxiety, feeling that intense lack of joy, it’s way too common in the mom world. It’s time to change that. Let’s begin to live life the way God intended, with joy, excitement, and adventure! Even in the mundane, day to day tasks, we can fin joy and excitement. YOU can find joy and excitement. God had some amazing things in mind when He created you, and living with depression, mommy burnout, and all the things…that wasn’t part of His plan.
Love you Mama!
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