Mommy Burn Out is Real
Mom life is full of ups and downs and difficult days with seemingly little reward. It can feel like all it is, is poopy diapers and spit up for days, then they grow up and its driving them here and there, cleaning, laundry and cooking for days because, well, growing kids eat A LOT. Those mom burn out signs appear and it can feel like it’s the same, day in and day out and you just wake up to do the same things over and over and over again.
Life can be monotonous when you are at home with your kids. Stay at home moms, you wake up feeling those burn out signs already, get your kids going, change the poopy diapers clean the house and do your chores, try to keep the kids entertained and find fun things for them to do so you can all stay sane. Work from home moms, it’s a constant battle to keep the kids happy, clean and fed, and get all your work done, moms that work out of the house, you get up, get the kids ready drop them off, go to work, come home and do all the evening things for your family, then wake up the next day just to do it over again.
Mom burnout is real. Don’t let it happen to you. If you already feel those mom burn out signs, then lets work to get back to the joy in motherhood!
What are Mom Burn Out Signs?
Some of the burn out signs are that moms usually feel intense exhaustion, more than normal for our busy lives, and they can become disengaged with the things and people around them. They end up just going through the motions, instead of truly enjoying their time throughout the day.
Is this you? Do you have any of these burn out signs? Are you just going through the motions? Feeling disengaged and beyond exhausted? It’s that feeling of: “ugh I just need a break but have no idea when or if I will ever get it” and everyday can feel like a struggle.
You aren’t alone.
It’s more common than you think. These burn out signs can rear their ugly heads at any time!
I was curious because I hear people talk about mom burn out and the signs of burn out a lot. I used to be burnt out and it led me down a really bad path so I wanted to know how often this really happens. So, like we all do when we are curious about something, I googled it.
There was a survey done with 1,285 anonymous parents of children under the age of 18 who live at home by Ohio state University. They took the university’s online survey between January 19 and April 28, 2021.
The research found that 66% of working parents, both moms and dads, reported having signs of burn out, which showed three main groups that were most likely to experience burnout:
- parents of multiple children
- parents who struggle with anxiety
This study was done on both moms and dads. I can only imagine how high that percentage would be if it were studied on all moms. When I googled the phrase mom burn out, there were over 9,320,000 results that came up. This is a real thing!
Are you struggling with mom burn out signs?
Mom burn out signs can include:
- feeling that you are failing as a parent
- feeling tired and irritable
- believing you’re not a good enough mother
- mom guilt is extreme
Now it’s totally normal to have moments of these emotions. You make a mistake, yell at your kids, forget to do something you promised your kids you would do, mom guilt can creep in, feeling like you failed for a moment. It’s normal. Is it normal to not enjoy being a parent at times? Yes, it’s completely normal for mamas to feel tired, irritated, and even massively frustrated sometimes. The difference is, when you are burnt out, all these emotions are exaggerated and more constant instead of just at small moments in the day when things aren’t going as planned.
Burn out is when you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated with all of your obligations and burn out can lead to a lack of motivation, which can make it really difficult for you to do everything you need to do. As a mom, when you have the burn out signs, it affects so much more than just you. It has a major impact on your kids, your relationship with your husband, and your household.
Do you resonate with this? Does it sound like you?
I’ve been there. It is so not fun. I’m sorry if you are feeling the mom burn out. But you don’t have to stay there!
My Burn Out Signs…
A few years ago I was burnt out. My father in law was living with us in the start of our marriage, I was a new wife, a mom of a child with a pretty big recent health diagnosis, a new step mom, and working over full time. In that, I knew I wasn’t operating in the calling God has placed on me and I felt unfulfilled.
I was majorly experiencing mom burnout even though I didn’t know what it was at the time. I felt alone, isolated, like I was the only one feeling this way, and I didn’t know how to fix it. Life wasn’t enjoyable anymore. The stress with my father in law living with us added a lot of financial burden, and emotional stress to me and I was already not great at dealing with my emotions. I tried to suppress them instead of managing them.
It didn’t work.
All this led to a massive burnout and me drinking in excess to try to mask the emotions I didn’t want to feel. It was a bad situation and I am so thankful for a husband that stuck by me and supported me with no judgment, just love and support.
If you are feeling the burn out. I know what you are going through. I have been there. There is a way out! It doesn’t have to be like this forever.
I know what can happen if I feel myself getting to that point again, I know the tools to prevent myself from getting to that point. But not everyone does. I didn’t a few years ago. It took me going through it to learn how to prevent it from happening again.
I want to teach you what I learned to help you get out of mommy burn out and keep it from happening again.
So you are burnt out…
How do you move through this and start enjoying motherhood again? Your situation isn’t going to change over night. Your responsibilities aren’t going to end. Life is the same today as it was yesterday. It didn’t change while you were sleeping. So since nothing is physically changing right away, what do you do?
1. Go to God.
Pray and read the word. The Bible is full of wisdom, insight, and encouragement. Find a few verses that are encouraging to you that you can repeat when you are having a difficult time.
Here’s a few to get you started:
- Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
- Philippians 4:5-7 “The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
- Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
- James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Joy is what the trial brings!
Consider it joy when you face trials. What?! I’m sorry, did the verse really just say that? Yes it did. If you stop there, it’s pretty disheartening. The trials I have gone through are definitely not a joyous occasion. I’m sure you are the same. But when you keep reading, it’s not the trial itself that is the joy. Joy is what the trial brings! “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
When you are struggling with your trial, your mommy burnout, the exhaustion and overwhelm, I want you to think of this verse.
2. Be honest about it with yourself and those closest to you
When burn out happens, usually we tend to retreat and become isolated. That is the worst thing you can do to get out of the burn out. You need your people, your husband, family members, friends, the restored mama facebook community, find where you feel safe and talk about what you are going through with them.
Now, be careful. This isn’t a venting sesh on all things wrong with your life. We aren’t just going to them to complain. This is so you can let people know what is going on with you so you can get support.
3. Create routines
When you have routines in your day, things run more smoothly, your brain uses less effort when doing the tasks because they are routine and almost habitual. It adds ease to your day and you can get things done quicker and easier. This helps ease the overwhelming feelings which contribute greatly to mommy burnout.
4. Set boundaries
It’s important to learn to say no, set the boundaries, and know what you have the bandwidth for. If your plate is already full, don’t pile on a second helping of a dish, because then it is just going to all spill over.
Plan ahead to avoid burn out
5. Plan and avoid multitasking
When you plan (now don’t plan too tight where you get stressed when you don’t get to the next task on time) but plan a loose flexible schedule so you can keep each task separate and know that it is getting done without feeling the need to multitask. You don’t want to feel like if you don’t do ten things at once you won’t get it done.
Comparison leads to burn out
6. Don’t compare
Theodore Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When you compare yourself to those around you, you won’t measure up. When others compare themselves to you, they won’t measure up. There is always going to be someone that if you compare yourself to them you will feel less than, but there is always going to be someone that if they compared themselves to you, they would feel less than.
You know the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”? It’s true, but then when you get there, it’s not always what you thought it would be. You don’t see the full picture when you look at others. You see what they want you to see. They may not have it all together, they may not have their lives under control, but you can’t see that from where you are standing. Or maybe they are living out God’s calling and things are wonderful where you can see and the areas you can’t see. Who knows.
You never know what is on the other side of what you see. So when you compare yourself to what you see in others, you will feel less than, it will steel your joy.
Focus on where God has called you to be, what He has called you to do. Stop comparing to those around you and compare to yourself.
“Each one should test their own actions.
Then they can take pride in themselves alone,
without comparing themselves to someone else“
Take pride in yourself and how far you have come. Look at what you can do and be proud of the gifts God has given you!
Set those expectations and avoid burn out signs!
7. Lower expectations
Often times we can have too high of expectations of ourselves. We can get pressured by the comparison, what we see or what we tell ourselves we should be doing. This doesn’t mean you aren’t striving for excellence or doing your best at what you set out to do.
The Bible talks about doing everything as if you were doing it for the Lord. In Colossians 3:23 it says “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”
Motherhood is the most difficult, the most rewarding, the most exhausting job that exists. Getting burnt out though doesn’t need to happen. It’s ok if and when it does. That is when these 7 things will help you to be able to get out of it and back to enjoying motherhood the way it should be enjoyed all while loving your life.
When you are in the thick of it, stuck in the messy middle, burnt out and exhausted, it’s really hard to see that. But if you can start by trusting God to get you through this, then doing these practical things, over time you will look back and say “wow! I can’t believe I was there and now I am here! God is good and life is good! I can’t believe how far I have come!”
You will get there mama!
I want to leave you with this verse…
Then Jesus said, “Come to me,
all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Love you Mama!
Go from overwhelmed with no time to mindful mom: Restored Mama Method!
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